Meant To Live
by To Be A Necessity
Summary: This is for anyone who has crushed on someone so hard, that they had to restart. But this has a happier ending. EClare 100%, from first sight to all the difficulties of starting a relationship. Meant to live by Switchfoot.
1. To

He was walking down the hallway like he had done so many times before. I felt like a stalker for seeing him around so much, noticing him in his own little world, his headphones in and his sight directed in front of him. He had dark under eye circles which I didn't understand. But I didn't understand much about the mysterious boy in my view.

With the snap of Alli's fingers, I directed my gaze somewhere else. I didn't want her to know how much I watched a boy I had never met before. "What're you looking at?" She teased, but I shook my head.

"Nothing," I lied, trying to pay attention to something else. I could not fall for another stranger again. I remember just how that went last time; all the heartbreak of what never happened. I had put my hopes up too high; my expectations were bound to break sometime. If I was going to crush on a stranger again, it would be different this time.

This time, I would actually _try_. Try for any sign that he would befriend me. I wouldn't just smile like a shy wannabe-I would be brave. A lioness.

"Okay," Alli sighs, knowing how fragile I was with being picked on. I would've called myself bipolar if I didn't know why my moods changed so much. I'm just… unhappy. I want to grow up, have children and marry the man of my dreams. I just want to move forward.

Talking to boys used to be so easy; now it's like there's a wall between me and the other gender. I'll smile, I'll talk, but I can't help myself from over thinking what could happen between me and a boy. It's stupid and lame, but I can't help myself. I just… can't.

I feel like I'm losing my freaking mind. Crushing on boys I've never met have been my only choice; my past has just shown how bad I am when I befriend boys I like. Maybe this year I'll change.

"Where do you think we should go for girls' night tonight?" Alli inquired as we walked down a hallway, waiting for the first bell to ring. I shrugged.

"Maybe the mall?" I suggested. Alli shook her head.

"We already went there this month," She looked over to the side, forcing me to stop dead in my footsteps as her arm flew out in front of me. "Look!" She squealed.

I turned my head unenthusiastically to what she was looking at; on the board of Degrassi's news was the upcoming event:

_Karaoke Tournament!_

_From 7:00 P.M. – 10 P.M._

_Bring $10 admission to the gymnasium and your singing voice! Winner gets a $100 Itunes giftcard._

I groaned. "Please don't do this to me, Alli." Alli shook her head, her smile never fading.

"No—we both know that you need some cheering up, missy. This is the perfect opportunity! Now you can show Degrassi what you've been hiding all along. _And _maybe K.C.'ll be there."

Another pang in the chest. I should've told her that I was try to get over K.C., that he didn't like me. But another part of me wanted to keep trying for him. I had fallen so hard for him even though I didn't know him—it was so… _desperate_ of me to do.

"I doubt it," I say glumly, feeling my emptiness come once again. I hated talking about boyfriends, couples—boys in general. I could never get any boy in my age group to like me; the ones that did were usually ones that didn't even go to my school.

"Well," Alli said, walking again. I followed next to her. "It'll sure help you get out of your gloomy stage. C'mon, Clare—you know that you can kick ass when you sing. I've heard you belt Mariana's Trench before and _damn_, it's so sexy!"

I laughed. "You seem to always know how to brighten up the mood, Alli."

Alli rolled her eyes. "Of course I do." We talked endlessly about things that we had noticed about high school since it was our freshman year—we didn't look like it, though. Most people took us as two sophomores, which I didn't mind. I was supposed to be a sophomore.

Before I know it, I hear Alli's tone change. "Clare!" She yelled as I fell to the floor. My head was on fire from hitting something, but I didn't know what. I looked up to see a hand stretched out for me to grab onto.

"Are you alright?" He asked, pulling me up. My speechless part came to surface again as I noticed the voice, even though I had never heard him speak before. It was the stranger that I stalked from afar; the gorgeous kid that seemed to have a gloomy past. One like mine.

I shook my head in reassurance. "I'm fine—sorry for not looking." I sheepishly tried taking my arm away, but he seemed to keep his hold on it.

He gave me one look in the eye, one that sent chills down my spine. I shivered unknowingly as his eyes seemed to let me see straight to his soul. "I don't mind." He smirked, letting go of my arm. He walked away, not once looking back. I stood where I was, still gaping at his disappearing figure. Alli squealed behind me.

"Was that chemistry right there?" She asked, and I came back to reality. It was a one time thing; it would never happen again. I shook my head, looking down at the floor as I kept walking.

"No," I stated, looking forward. Alli was talking about something next to me, but I couldn't focus.

How much I wanted to know him.

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**This is just a preview to see how well some like this story.**

**The idea just appeared to me a few moments ago. I'm what Clare is in this chapter _right now_; I am trying to get over someone who I've been crushing on, and it's hard right now. But I'm tired of hiding in the shadows all the time; I'm going to make an impression, sometime soon.**

**If you like the story, I recommend you review for it or whatever your heart pleases; I will continue if people want me to.**


	2. What

**ECLARE LOVERS: This chapter barely touches on Eclare; the next chapter will be filled with the two, though ;)**

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Alli was all hyped up for the karaoke thing, but I sure as hell wasn't. I _hated_ singing in front of people, especially when my voice isn't that good. I'm no professional; I only belt because I get so pent up with feelings. The feeling I get when I belt is indescribable.

"This is going to be good for you." I told myself, looking at my reflection in my mirror. I had on my worn out jeans with my favorite black tee, something that just screamed _inhumane_. But hey, that's me.

I got used to the staring of all the people. When people saw me throw out all of my floral and replace it with things like black and gray, they never once asked. None had the guts to ask.

It's not like I have the plague or anything; I'm friendly. I just look… intimidating… as my mom says. Maybe that's because Darcy was so pretty? I couldn't blame Darcy; she was nice when you got to know her. She just got caught up in things.

"Hey, Mom?" I asked, looking at my mother who was lying on the couch, watching SVU. She turned her head in my direction. "Can I go to a tournament tonight at Degrassi? Alli said that she doesn't want to go alone."

It was a small lie, but not entirely. She shrugged. "If you want to go then you may, sweetie." She smiled up at me with a genuine smile, one that I hadn't seen since Dad had left. I walked up to her and hugged her.

"Thank you," I murmured, speed walking to the door. I was glad that my parents had stopped fighting; I could finally get some rest in my own home. Dad was gone for the weekend, and although I wasn't happy about it, I couldn't do anything about it. My parents' guidance counselor told them that children always went through this… _always_.

Pshh—I doubt it.

Sav's car rumbled to my front steps. Sav and I smiled at each other before I opened the backdoor to Alli's priceless face. "Let's go!" She practically yelled, squealing the whole way there.

"Man Clare," Sav laughed in the front. "I can't believe that Alli actually got you to come to one of these things."

I looked at the rearview mirror with a bemused expression. "What's that supposed to mean?" I defended myself, knowing that Sav didn't mean it on purpose. I saw his face drop, but before he said anything I spoke. "Forget about it; I know you didn't mean it." But inside, it meant _everything_. I didn't take criticism _that_ well.

The rest of the car ride was silent until we came to Degrassi. I stepped out of the car once the vehicle was turned off, wasting no time to embarrass myself. Alli jogged up to where I was. "Don't make me run, Clare! I'm wearing heels!"

I laughed at her. "Who wears heels to a _karaoke tournament_?" My question was rhetorical, but she always needed to answer.

"I just love heels, you know? They're like a part of me." I couldn't even tell her how weird she sounded.

"Are you going to compete, too?" I asked Alli. She hastily nodded her head, her smile growing.

"I'm _so_ ready for this; I heard that Drew was coming, and I _need_ to make a good impression on him! Have you seen him? He's so hot!"

"Alli," I complained, but I shut my mouth. It was just going to get worse if I continued.

Alli grabbed my hand, dragging me to the gymnasium. I hardly recognized it, with all the banners and all the microphones set up in different sections. Holly J was already finishing the decorations when she saw Sav come up. They were leaning towards each other in a loving fashion, and I turned away. I couldn't watch if I wanted to.

The place was so crowded; I didn't know that so many people actually sang in this school. I had always thought that this school was so… dull—everyone seemed to just come and go for the academic classes. Not once did I think I wasn't alone.

Alli had already run off to Jenna, one of the snobby cheerleaders at the school. Whenever I smiled at her, she just seemed to look me over again and remember why she didn't like me. Because I was "gothic". She caught my eye, but looked away, disgusted in some way. I rolled my eyes, not bothering to care. I knew that she was on Sing Star earlier this year, but she didn't have a chance anymore. Not when she would be against me.

I smiled to myself, picking up one of the mics. I didn't know where this sudden confidence was coming from; it _is_ like I'm bipolar. All I had to remember was that this wasn't going to take so long; just a few songs and I would be done.

"Alright Degrassi," Sav announced on speaker. Everyone in the room quieted down as they waited for him to speak. "We are going to start the karaoke tournament starting… now!" A wave of cheers and screams went across the room as the stations were turned on. I joined Alli's group; unfortunately Jenna wasn't in it.

"It's okay," Jenna yelled over the sound. "I'll join your group later." With a sly smile, she was off to another part of the room. I smirked at Alli.

"You ready?" I asked her, looking to see that two other people were in our group also. They weren't anyone I knew. Alli nodded enthusiastically.

"Really to blow this place down!" She yelled as loud as she could. The song started in a short second.

It's Not My Time by Three Doors Down played on our speaker, and Alli and I looked at each other with mischievous grins. We _knew_ this song by heart; no one would be able to rock it out like we could. Alli started it off, her voice soft at first, but grew with anticipation. I, luckily, got the chorus.

"_Cause it's not my time, I'm not going._

_There's a fear in me, it's not showing._

_This could be the end of me,_

_And everything I know._

_Oh, but I won't go."_

I heard some cheers out in the crowd, but I couldn't pay attention to them. This song was like my life. The rest of the night went on like this, with anticipation growing as more people were eliminated. It soon ended up to be Jenna, Alli, Dave and I. I knew that Dave was only in this so that he could try to win Alli's attention; heck, everyone knew this. But _I_ knew that it wasn't going to work; Alli was so heartless to guys. I wish I could tell Dave that without him thinking it was a joke.

"This is the last round of the night," Sav announced, murmurs overfilling the microphone. "Whoever gets the most points wins the ITunes gift card!" I turned my head to see Jenna giving a knowing glance to Alli, who was downright confused. Jenna seemed to think too highly of herself for me to care.

The song played, and although I couldn't recognize it it sounded familiar. What was it? It sounded like one of those songs that you hear in movies; ones that show the "lovey dovey" scene coming together from forbidden teenage love.

"_Welcome to the planet,"_ Jenna sang. Of course it was this song; how could I forget? Jenna continued to sing, but I couldn't pay attention.

I opened my mouth. _"Everybody's watching you now._

_Everybody waits for you now._

_What happens next?_

_What happens next?"_

Alli started the chorus as Dave ended it. I couldn't understand why all these people were here; it's so boring just listening to others compete for a prize that you've already gotten out in. I scanned the crowd for someone, _him_ as a matter of fact, but I couldn't find him. Alli and Dave were already brought out of the song, even though it wasn't fair. I looked over at Jenna, feeling bored. I sighed as my next part came.

"_I dare you to move_

_Like today never happened_

_Today never happened_

_Maybe redemption has stories to tell_

_Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell_

_Where can you run to escape from yourself?_

_Where you gonna go?_

_Where you gonna go?_

_Salvation is here"_

Jenna looked over at me with an expression that screamed 'mess up already'. I wasn't giving up that easily, though.

"_I dare you to move_

_I dare you to move_

_I dare you to lift yourself, to lift yourself up off the floor_

_I dare you to move"_

With all that I had, I put as much passion as I could into my last part.

"_I dare you to move_

_Like today never happened_

_Today never happened_

_Today never happened_

_Today never happened before"_

I was ready to give up. Ready to congratulate Jenna for winning, but she wasn't smiling. "The winner is Clare Edwards!" Sav yelled into the mic.

What? How could I have won? I looked over at Sav, who was shrugging his shoulders. I couldn't hear anything from above all the yells. I walked over to him, taking the Itunes gift card. "Are you sure I won?" I yelled over all the sound.

Sav nodded. "You kicked Jenna's ass by far! How could you _not_ win?" I smiled with a goofy expression as Sav put my hand in the air like I had won a boxing game. My eyes locked with someone as I was looking awkwardly into the crowd.

That boy.

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